Clipboard, ballpoint pen, Higgins India Ink, wood, metal, tool dip.
From the clipboard, which audience was encouraged to handle:
“My Rod For Measurement (RFM) resolves mankind’s inability thus far to thoroughly and accurately measure humans. This Rod allows for the isolation and manipulation of independent variables to occur in real world contexts. Using this Rod results in data that provides the user with the opportunity to make equal and valid determinations, and comparisons of any two or more individuals or groups. Standard features of the RFM accommodate exactibility, as well as multiple positions intended for the measurement of a wide range of tangible and intangible units.
This Rod has been designed, tested, proven, and could be certified. I took my RFM to various locations including skywalks, parks, recreation facilities, downtown sidewalks during weekdays and lunchtime, restaurants, bars, beaches, and airports. Once at my destination, I selected my Human of Interest (HOI), unfurled the RFM in its position most suited to the target subject, and began to calculate and collect extensive and objective data. This data was then transferred to charts, analyzed, depicted on grids and graphs, and then translated into Final Value Findings, which were then used for comparison and overall infallible judgment.
This Rod measures countless Human-Value-Comparison-Determination-Units (HVCDU) including, but not limited to units of: Skill, aptitude, intelligence, wisdom, character, labor, strength, physical appearance, knowledge, power, weakness, work ethic, wealth, deservedness, depth, tenacity, charisma, truthfulness, attractiveness, sexiness, ugliness, legitimacy, qualities, non-qualities, ownership, attitude, drive, communication, wholeheartedness, height, length, diameter, health, sincerity, distance traveled, accomplishment, sweat, income, posture, positivity, angle, motives, morals, priority, education level, class, age, ignorance, precedence, happiness, and the HOI’s necessity for all of the aforementioned, as well as for those units not mentioned.”